You blog like a girl » continuous improvements

Final Countdown

Nina — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 01:35:08 +0000

I have spent the last 6 years working for or in the Office of the President at ASU. I started as a student worker when I was an undergrad, working on ridiculous charts and terrible Powerpoints. Now I am an interaction designer. I am not like an interaction designer that deals in code only. I look at not only how we interact with objects, digital and print, but also how we interact with each other. A human interaction designer, how people can understand and connect with ideas from other people.
This job has taught me amazing things. It has helped me understand my own education and the role of education in the greater economy. I’m really lucky to work for visionaries, to make a living supporting an idea that makes the world a better place. I am lucky to work for a place whose mission I can stand behind. Even when things are tough, I know that university education can change lives. I have experienced it, my family has experienced it. I have selfish reasons for working here, too. The value of my degree is something I take very seriously, and I feel like I am in the trenches every day working on that.
My last day here is April 12. I have taken a position elsewhere in the university, and I am starting a new path. I needed a shift in audience, and a great opportunity came up. I am excited about what is ahead, but I’m sad about leaving the driven, passionate people of this office behind. They all seem to have the right mix of optimism and reality.
I am filled with nostalgia and gratitude this week. Thank you, Office of the President, for giving me pride in my education. Thank you for helping me grow beyond what they could ever teach me in the classroom. Thank you for letting me pass that knowledge on to another generation year after year. Thank you for taking risks with me, thank you for listening, and thank you for bringing me from undergraduate to career woman. I still have much to learn, but I appreciate every opportunity you have given me.

Trust us

Nina — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 05:13:08 +0000

Since I finished the Torch improv training, I’ve thought a lot about what it means to me to be a trained improvisor *bum bum BUM*. Mostly, the day after the graduation showcase looked like any other day prior. My hair wasn’t shinier, I didn’t have a new British accent. What I did have was something intangible. It was more than confidence. I felt… malleable. Like I was being affected by what was happening around me. More than I had been, more than I had let myself before.
Some community events that I’ve taken part in over the last year have really affected me. I’m learning to trust in my community more, that there are people giving everything they have to make community better. Lifting each other up. Trust is huge on stage: trusting that everyone is “all in,” no one is holding back or afraid, trust in your own ideas and trust that everyone is working at the top of their intelligence. In an environment built on trust, amazing things can happen. Without trust, big bold choices don’t happen. Creativity dies. People don’t speak and perform from the heart.
A group built on trust can dodge and weave through characters and ideas together like a school of fish, or an amazing basketball team (so I’m told – I’ll trust basketball lovers on that one). We call it “group mind” on stage.
I said Design Week changed me, and as I thought about it more, a lot has changed me. I feel like there is a group mind building in the Phoenix design community. I was open to feeling it, I was seeking it out even. And I felt it more than I had ever felt it before.
That is all well and good, but the REALLY big deal about that more than a year ago, I was told by my therapist that I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I talked about this at TEDxPhoenix, how trust is a choice that we make. My trauma involved stranger danger and public places, so my whole adult life I’ve been guarded against a sense of being part of a community. Five years ago, the terrible events in Tucson would have shut me down. The world would be filled with palpable danger, threats around any corner. While this may be true for everyone, and was proven true for that group of people at that moment, I no longer find myself having that fear make my choices day to day. Still, being affected emotionally by a group of people in public is a struggle day after day. Having a place on stage to push that trust in my fellow player farther and farther, opening my heart to the audience, not hiding behind a playwright’s words anymore and trusting myself to be the producer of the work has begun to rewire my mind. I choose to trust, more often than I allow myself to be guarded.
I’m learning more every day about how my mind works, unravelling and laying out the ratty yarn ball of emotions and structures that have been built around it. I have been living with so many kludges in my system for so long, it will take a while for me to figure all the knots and ends that have been tied together quickly. For me, working on stage as an improvisor is a vital part of that unravelling. I am seeing now the neatly wrapped ball of yarn starting to form, ready to knit into a most amazing scarf at some point in the future. It will be comfortable, beautiful and useful. It will take a lot of work to get to that point, but it will delight me every day.
My heart and mind has been very filled by the victims, survivors and heroes of Saturday’s tragedy. I hope that they, and all of us, can continue to be work towards hope for and trust in the community around us.

Talent

Nina — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 23:39:52 +0000

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn’t bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.” – Stephen King

This is a great statement. The first time I cashed an acting check I felt like I was invincible. There is a talent for survival as well as a talent for the arts.

I am the winner

Nina — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 05:43:16 +0000

Improv is a great model for collaboration. It is also hilarious. It is also the way I got my brain back from a dark place over the last year. I am a fan.
If you haven’t been to a show, you should go. People living in the moment, dealing with what is in front of them, turning judgment off (unless the character is judgmental), and supporting each other’s ideas and building on them. It is a beautiful amazing thing. I have learned a lot about myself, other people and my creative self.
I am performing this weekend. A lot. I’ve been told I haven’t been broadcasting my performances enough. So I will broadcast a little more. This weekend is a my first marathon performance weekend. Last weekend I performed with a super fun grup “A Little Piece of Corey,” and we made it to the next bracket in the Phoenix Improv March Madness Playoffs, so I will be performing on Friday at 10:30pm. Then, on Saturday I am performing in Cagematch with the team I helped form from my fellow students. We call ourselves “Unicorn Warpath.” THEN on Monday, the culmination of my Level 4 class is performing two of the formats we’ve learned this session. We’ve named ourselves “Pigeon.”
I might be exhausted next week, but I’m really excited about all these opportunities to perform. I hope you can join me at some point. I’ve learned a lot from this adventure, and I will continue.
Also, these are my friends.

Phoenix Improv Festival 2010 Promo from Dane Paul Stewart on Vimeo.

In over my head

Nina — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 02:04:10 +0000

I’ve got a lot on my plate. I’ve been a little overwhelmed. Here is the list:

Design and social media work for ASU’s Office of the President
Pursuing my MSD in Interaction Design
Learning improv from The Torch Theatre Longform Improv Training Center
Performing improv
Practicing with Unicorn Warpath (improv again, surprise!)
Working on a redux of http://www.thetorchtheatre.com
Volunteering for Phoenix Improv Festival
Talking with lots of people about design in Phoenix
Trying to file my legal paperwork (long story)
Figuring out how to support myself alone for the first time in my adult life
Letterpress exhibit curation & promotion
MADphx podcast
Rapid Rebrands
Random logo and web help around town for friends and projects I admire

I’ve looked at this list long and hard (#twss!) trying to figure out what I might cut so my mind doesn’t explode. But there is nothing I can cut without losing a piece of my heart. Some of this stuff is unavoidable and just needs to get done. There are so many things that I want to see this city be and so many things I want to be a part of, I just can’t walk away from any of these projects without thinking I didn’t give my all to it.
So lately I’ve been pursuing the idea of “more is more.” I may not be able to get all of this done perfectly, but continuing to move forward despite the pressures and limitations best I can. I look at it like training for a marathon. I’m starting to adjust and figure out what I need to do to keep myself sane and fed. I am going to get through it.

MADPHX is up!

Nina — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:39:16 +0000

Over the last year I have met more people here in Phoenix than I have maybe in my entire life. Once I started to understand all the energy and creativity in the Greater Phoenix area, I started to get really excited again about being a part of it. A few of us got together and recorded a conversation about the creative class and what we are doing in Phoenix to make our community better. Check it out, leave comments, subscribe on iTunes! http://www.madphx.com/

Cutting back: Step One

Nina — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:22:16 +0000

Over the last year and a half I have gone through a lot of my emotional clutter in my head and heart, but I haven’t been able to conquer the physical clutter around me. I am pretty charged up about doing it this year. I have set up a support system which has motivated me in small ways before, but I knew I had to motivate myself to actually get this done in a big way. So the first thing on my list is my closet.
I have a CRAP LOAD of clothes.
Why? I love fabric. I love feeling pretty. In the past when I was feeling sad and overwhelmed by my emotional clutter, shopping and the mini-adrenaline rush that came as a result of it was a coping mechanism.
But after years of doing this, I have more clothes than I want to store and care for. Digging around on the web I have found tons of advice about how to weed out the things you don’t want or don’t like. That hasn’t been enough for me to truly pair down. I tend to purge clothes in sizes that I’m not anymore. I am getting down to things I like a lot or love at this point. There has to be a next, more drastic level of purging tactics.
I’ve come up with a process. It is in motion.
1. WASH ALL OF IT
I procrastinate laundry until the entire closet is empty and I have more loads to wash then an army of toddlers. And then I might only do half that pile at a time. There is no point in recent history that every piece of clothing I own has been clean. As I am washing it, I am getting donating any stray clothes I’ve miswsed in my last purge that I don’t love or don’t fit me in a way I feel great in.
2. INVENTORY
Since it is never all clean at the same time, I really don’t even know what I have. I am making a spreadsheet so I can count how many plain tshirts, skirts, dress pants, etc. that I have sitting in my closet.
3. ANALYZE MY LIFESTYLE
How many goofy tshirts do I really need since I work 40-60 hours a week in a professional environment? Well, I need a few. I also perform comedy. Not that wackly tshirts are required, but I do enjoy having a few around. Thinking about the activities I participate in every week and what I’m required to have for those will determine how much cutting back I will do. Once I have a full inventory, I think it will be obvious that I have neglected some areas of my life wardrobe wise in favor of other areas that I am naturally more drawn too (PREDICTION: goofy tshirts).
4. CUT IT OUT
Once I determine how many wacky tshirts I can have hanging around in good conscience, it is time to start being ruthless and mean. Finding any little flaw with the things I fell in love with in the store and accepting that I have an excess of any given category, keeping only the most versatile and basic items. Time to pare it down to a set number of items.
5. MAINTENANCE
I will do laundry regularly. I will. I will. Moving into an apartment after living in a house for 7 years added to the chaos of laundry time. But now I have found quite a few laundry options varying in convenience and fun. Friends have offered to have coffee with me while I borrow their machine. Dog sitting or babysitting is a great way to barter for washing machine access. The laundromat up the street has giant machines and great people watching. And my apartment complex has some small machines and easy access from my couch. It is simply a habit I will need to retrain myself in now that I can’t do it in my own home.
6. DILIGENCE
Through years of hurt and confusion, I’ve built up a large collection of band aids. I still feel myself drawn towards impulse buying when I’m stressed or worried. But I will explore other ways to deal with those feelings, and save shopping for when items need to be replaced or I find I need to fill a gap in my wardrobe as my life continues to morph. Also, when I buy things now, I hope to make a better investment in quality and versatility.
This is not the first step in a long process of morphing my life into a happy and manageable one, it is just the easiest one to write about. I think figuring out why people collect clutter (Have you seen the show Hoarders? Oh, man.) is the most important step. Dealing with it is tedious, so tracking down the emotional reason for it, for me, was the biggest revealation. Now I just have to get to work.

Why I work in higher education

Nina — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:52:52 +0000

Because I think it can change things. Big things that need changing. Go to this site, let the world know what you think needs changing: http://www.asuchallenges.com

today’s commute

Nina — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:03:12 +0000

Sunburst!, originally uploaded by Nin(j)a.

I biked to work today. I am now only 3.5 miles bike ride from my office, so in August I bought a little brown Schwinn fixed up by Scottsdale PD for a very small sum of money, and last week I ordered the above awesome helmet. The weather turned to fall perfect this week, for a brief window, and I had no excuse to not try out the commute.
It was exhausting.
I feel like a doosh* riding a bike in general. I didn’t learn until I was 10, but from there until I was 17 or so, I loved it. Maple Grove has great bike paths, we would constantly go out in the summer and bike for miles. And I didn’t learn to drive until I was 19, so when I got to college, it was my sole transportation besides my super cool new friend with the Jeep. Later on in college, I found myself carless again, and turned back to the bike and bus for two years.
But that was a long time ago. And I now feel like a doosh* on a bike. I am slow and awkward and I don’t know my route well yet. and it felt like all kinds of people were passing me. They were, it didn’t feel like it, they were.
But I will try again perhaps this week. Perhaps next.
*sorry, mom, I remember you don’t like that word. that’s why I intentionally mispelled it

Sheddin’ a little light

Nina — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:08:22 +0000

…and maybe some other things.
*caveat* I wrote this a week ago, but I left it unpublished out of mortification. Today I’m brave enough to post.

In my hall of shame, many things are moments come and gone, lived through, learned from. Like wearing a white swim suit to a meet in junior high. Like breaking up with someone by writing them a note. IN COLLEGE. These things cause me to smile and nod, knowing I have learned from them and moved on. But, lately, the things that are always lurking in my hall of shame, constant on going projects of continuous self improvement, need the light shined on them. I’ve learned in my days on the stage when I expose my junk, I deal with it better. I’ve learned this metaphorically and literally. So, if this is not your bag, please discontinue reading, hopefully the next post will be less navel gazing.
Well, maybe not. My current oversized carry-on baggage goes as follows:
ONE
My struggle to stay healthy. Lose some weight. The old old struggle. And I’m not 14 about, I love myself, I think I’m pretty and smart. I’m not trying to look like Keith Richards. But I really don’t want to buy new clothes. Some of the clothes I have, I really like. And the health thing, bla bla bla. But I am currently within a healthy range. Like, exactly within.
For those who are interested in minutae, I am publishing my fitday journal, a free online service to count all things consumable. It will help keep me real about what I’m eating. And what I’m weighing. And what I’m not doing. Keepin it real is how I roll, yea.
TWO
My lack of interest in the domestic arts that involve any sort of cleanser. I’ve tried this before, but I let life sweep me away from the project. It’s definitely a project. But my jaw is set, one room at a time, I shall learn to vaccuum on a schedule! I shall learn to not keep things because I might need them someday! Or someone else might need it! And then if I have it, they’ll think I’m much cooler than they previously thought!
I will be documenting this on flickr. Look at the freak and her giant pile of fill in the blank. Befores hopefully will inspire terrific afters. I’ve made a solemn promise to myself, and now the world, to no longer leave kleenex on the side of the bed.
I hope to look back on this, smile and nod, knowing that I’ve learned from this moment and moved on.